Best Spam Comments Ever!

bHs mostly gets spam comments, and they are sometimes pretty sneaky. They seem legit, but then are oh so wrong (or weirdly right) for that post. My favorites are for my analysis of Flatulence. I had no idea I was helping people so much with their farts.

  • “whoah this blog is wonderful i love reading your posts. Keep up the great work! You recognize, many persons are looking around for this info, you can aid them greatly.”
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    • I guess these vitamins would help with farting?
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    • Again, I am delighted to have been so helpful. Farting is a challenge.
  • “Nice article. Its realy nice. Many information help me.”
    • I happy.

These deeply rewarding comments aside, it’s hard not to be taken with the response to question: “Can I ever pee in the shower?“:

  • Your the very best!

Favorite Things About Staying in a Hotel

There are some lovely things about staying in a hotel, particularly when doing so is a treat, rather than a work obligation. Here are my current five favorite things, prompted by recent visits to the Old St. Francis Hotel in Bend, Oregon and the Ashland Springs Hotel in Ashland, Oregon. Each of them is simple and yet make me so happy!

  1. Lovely soap
  2. Nice clean sheets
  3. Bathrobes
  4. Soft towels
  5. Playing with all the amenities

Can I sleep too much?

If your head starts hurting, but you keep forcing yourself back to sleep, you probably ought to just get up. And if you keep dreaming about peeing in the bed, you probably ought to get up to go to the bathroom. Otherwise, the more the better.

Five Favorite Items: Talk Like a Pirate Day! (September 19, 2007)

Five Favorite Items: Talk Like a Pirate Day! (September 19)

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, 2006!

Nic Pirates

(look at the happy, blurry pirates! I’m not sure what’s up with the man in the kilt and the killer lady with the red squirt gun. Scottish and modern pirates, I suppose)

Just found an entertaining site that features Bus Pirates. There are two funny videos for those of us who are easily amused. As a frequent bus rider (although in Portland, Oregon rather than LA) and pirate, I quite enjoyed the combination.

I am a pirate piker, as my mother would say. I am a deckhand pirate. A pirate who can’t afford a metal sword. A pirate without a hat. A pirate lacking any beautiful swag. But I don’t care! Ha! Someone has to swab the deck, and it will be me. Arrrrr!

Pirate Notes

A couple of years ago, we had a great Pirate Event here in Portland! We had the chance to revel with the Pirates of the Caribbean movie, play the music, and meet the Talk Like a Pirate maties. The best bit is we were fully attired (in pirate gear) and talkin’ back to the screen. There were suggestions on how to interact with the Pirates movie, but bein’ a ruly group o’ pirates, we weren’t so much for the rules. Shiver me timbers, I was beside myself! For more information, go to

May I encourage all of you to visit

In honor of our holiday, I received a lovely tankard for all my grog needs. I hope you can have one, too. Plus, the pictures will inspire us all to spiffy up our pirate duds.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day, 2005!, September 19, passed back in September. Did you practice your “arrrs” “ahoys” “bludgeon me with a tankard” and “Shiver me timbers, that laddie’s lost his pants!”? I didn’t think so! Please visit the Talk Like a Pirate official site, and I look forward to conversing with you all.

I would like to pose the following question: can I be a cold weather pirate? Or a cooler weather pirate? Is this acceptable? Frankly, I don’t feel very pirate-like in hot weather (except for a spot of crankiness). Instead, I feel like a parched sea anenome. Although being a pirate in freezing weather might suck too. Unless we’re raiding on land and not sailing through the freezing water and having important bits shrivel up.

Pretend pirates, even those who have climate preferences, who aren’t actually armed and aren’t able hurt people very well, are the best thing ever. Even better than sliced bread. Actually, sliced bread kind of sucks, particularly if you’re a pirate. Ripping hunks of bread off a large piece of bread is much better.

Pretending to be a pirate and dressing up and talking like a wacko is fun. So, join us here in exploring the bounty of the high seas. We can use the word “booty” until it makes you (or someone) want to puke. I’ll probably still find it pretty witty, maybe even more so because someone puked. Sorry.

Click, if you dare, to discover the ultimate pirate band. However, in a moving and lyrical counter-essay, you may click to discover the joys of being a hobbit.

Although Master and Commander isn’t exactly about pirates, the movie does have some pirate-like elements such as sailing ships and battles.

Here is a link to the definitive pirate website – This site celebrates many things, including the universal Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19. Although this is a special day to recognize the joy of talking like a pirate, I would encourage each and every one of you to celebrate pirate talk every day of the year.

Additionally, I would like to propose that we all come together to get a convertable Pirates from the Webautomobile to decorate like a sailing ship of the high seas (including cannons) to drive around Portland (and other locales) this summer and claim booty.

(Isn’t it interesting how the royale “we” was used in the first half of this page, and then I switched to the plebian “I”? I must be losing my confidence.)