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Author: catriona

  • Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, 2006!

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    catriona
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    (look at the happy, blurry pirates! I’m not sure what’s up with the man in the kilt and the killer lady with the red squirt gun. Scottish and modern pirates, I suppose) Just found an entertaining site that features Bus Pirates. There are two funny videos for those of us who are easily amused. As…

  • Rants 2006

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    catriona
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    Summer 2006 I hate shopping for pants. Frankly, I hate most women’s pants. They are uncomfortable, unattractive, and expensive. What’s up with being so low-waisted you get a plumber’s crack, so tight you have no room to sit, so wide you trip on the legs, or so narrow your calves are trapped like sausages? Or…

  • Five Favorite Items: the week of August 7, 2006

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    catriona
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    I Humped Your Hummer. Need I say more? Such lovely temperate weather. UFC Cats on YouTube A pirate is walking down the street. A kid runs up and asks, “Why is there a steering wheel around your neck?” The pirate replies, “Arr, it be driving me nuts!” A bug is attacking Mt. St. Helens!

  • Five Favorite Items: the week of July 18, 2006

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    catriona
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    These cool videos by angry alien productions Pirates of the Caribbean #2 for matinee prices. Why? a) Pirates b) Funny c) Bad guys (and their stuff) are covered with really, really cool marine invertebrates My tomato plants. Picture coming shortly. Lordi winning Eurovision back in May And a Cow Abduction Warning

  • Pirate Band

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    catriona
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    When I grow up, I want to be a pirate. Not a modern, machine gun toting pirate, but a Captain Hook, a Dread Pirate Roberts, Goonies kind of pirate. I’ll do away with the peg leg, but probably keep a old earring, lots of tattoos, a parrot or two, and as much pirate language as…

  • A review of "Master and Commander"

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    catriona
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    Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World 2003, directed by Peter Weir I must admit, although I’ve been repeatedly told I would enjoy enjoy them, that I have not read the Patrick O’Brian novels about Capt. Aubrey and Dr. Maturin sailing around on very large ships. This may have helped with my thorough…

  • Rants from 2005

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    catriona
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    November 2005 School is hard. I had forgotten, and I must admit thought unkind thoughts about those who complained. But now that I am required to work well with others, listen to lecture, and read dense theory, I remember why college wasn’t just a party full of pirates and fart noises. Oh well. The whole…

  • Teenage Bus Riding

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    catriona
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    My best friend Liz rides the bus all over Portland with me. We like waiting for buses and entertaining ourselves and everyone else at the bus stop. Downtown stops provide the best crowds, but a random innocent in SE isn’t a bad audience, either. Riding the bus is also good. We continue to work to…

  • Rants from 2004

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    catriona
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    December 2004/January 2005 You know people who wear their sunglasses resting above their eyebrows on their forehead? As if they have a second set of eyes in their forehead they must protect. They suck. November 2004 Well, I’m having a hard time working up the energy to really let it all hang out after the election. Despite feeling…

  • Snow and Ice Experiment

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    catriona
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    Recently, all of Portland carried out a most satisfying experiment involving snow and ice. The storm was supposed to blow into town on Monday afternoon, dumping inches and inches of snow. Businesses closed early and everyone stocked up for the storm of the century. Local TV stations went crazy. The temperature hovered in the teens…